Hey, guys! This is my book, and your chance to win a copy!
((And if you reblog this and it hits 100 notes, you’ll be in the running to win one. Free of charge, shipping anywhere in the world.))
- Oh my god, you have a book?!? What’s it about?!?
I know, right? Who let me near the keyboard?! But yes, it is I, and this is most definitely my nice, succinct, forty-thousand-word novel. It’s a story about — you guessed it — a member of the undead, named Jivan, and his paternal interest in a young, living boy by the name of Peter.
Jivan, since even his Life, has been a little… different. He never understood emotions or that odd thing humans did with their teeth when they bared them in an attempt to portray happiness - what was it? A smile?
Nonetheless, when he stumbles across Peter, his life - or, erm, afterlife - changes, when he makes the executive decision to not kill the boy. Which turns out to be a pretty stupid one, because Peter decides that since he was safe from the throat-ripping escapade that left him orphaned, he is entitled to follow the zombie who saved his life home.
And worse: Peter does something Jivan doesn’t expect. Peter teaches Jivan how to love and, somewhat more importantly - that love is not a weakness. Oh, and, you know - that he, Jivan, might not even be a zombie at all.
- But do I like your writing style?!?
I write very emotionally and very well. I’m going to say that for the purposes of promoting my novel but seriously, I’ve won multiple industry-judged national awards for my writing and I’ve been published online, offline, all over the place. Omg. And of course my grammar/spelling/punctuation’s gonna be fine, it isn’t Tumblr. I’ve edited it myself and have hired an editor to look over it for me, so yeah.
- When and where can I get it?!?
That’s a good question! Blimey, hang on - it’s a brilliant one. Well, if you’re that interested, you can get your hands on my masterpiece in mid October of… WAIT FOR IT… 2013. That’s right, that means this is being published next month! Printed copies will be available, but it will also be online in ebook format. If you’ve been paying close attention, you may also have noticed at the start of this post that just by reblogging this post and helping it reach 100 notes, you’re in the running to win a printed, signed copy, shipping to anywhere in the world the day it’s printed! So just go click the “reblog” button and do me a massive favour, AND get a free book. I mean, dude - it’s a win-win. Everybody wins. Go click it. Here’s a hint: you’ll win $1m if you click that reblog button (note: I cannot guarantee this). The prizes will increase with more notes - but you’ll just have to see!
If you reblog this and it doesn’t reach 100 notes, I’ll send out a reminder to each and every one of you lovely people who did reblog it the day it’s released and sign any print copies you purchase.
- But how do I know that I like it?!?
I thought about telling you to just trust me, but that’d be a bit lame. So instead, here’s an excerpt from the first chapter!
”..The stairs were the hardest part of the trip. By this time, though, the Living knew we were inside – they gathered at the top of the stairs. The barrel of a gun faced down at me. Had there been any bullets, I would have been dead meat. That is, ignoring to poor word choice. I clambered up the stairs, using the handrail to claw my way up. The others followed. I counted their number and I counted ours; the death of the small female child zombie meant that one of the Living was not needed. I imagined that I could save one of them, if I told them to run. I held up one finger and then gestured away from myself and my co-hunters. The Living didn’t understand – they barely ever did. They never really appreciated the fact that I could have any kind of thought. I was a zombie, after all. It was tiring, to think I’d have to kill them all, but I shrugged – they could die if they wanted to.
Duncan pushed past me, taking his place in the front line, now that the danger of the gun had disappeared. This meant he’d get first pick, and I started to protest, but quickly stopped as he reached towards the man still clutching a slightly shaking gun tip to Duncan’s head. My co-hunter took the man by the neck and dug his rotting teeth into the man’s soft flesh. I sighed. I wanted that one – nice and fleshy, rather plump around the middle. But never mind that now; I stumbled toward the woman. She didn’t even step back, shielding her son with open arms. I rolled my eyes, to the best of my ability, and inched forward, reaching towards her with my claws. I swiped and caught her by her throat; slamming her head against the ground, I watched as her eyes rolled back into her head. Good for her; less pain. That was as far as my morality went.
I tore her throat out with my teeth and swallowed; it sat in a pit at the bottom of my stomach, and the cells of my body naturally absorbed the life left within it.
I looked up, my mouth wet with blood. The Live One’s son was standing there with a terrified expression, his eyes closed, muttering something under his breath – maybe a prayer, or a stunned ‘oh my god’. I laughed, mentally. I was satiated. By no means did I need him, as well. I gestured towards the door, my movements now livelier, just after eating. I could have pretended to be one of the Living. If I were a slow Live One, that was. The child looked at me like I was crazy. I don’t know, maybe I was; I didn’t want to unnecessarily kill someone. I was a zombie - I shouldn’t have been thinking about saving anything, be it a stray kid or a stray goat. He gathered his wits and stumbled back, moving slowly and doing his best not to trip over things as he refused to take his eyes off me. Maybe he was making sure I wasn’t about to change my mind. He looked about six, and his stumbling made him seem worse than a very clumsy zombie. I waved him away again. He didn’t need telling a third time; the boy shot off to hide behind a bookcase somewhere on the bottom floor of the building…”
Like what you see? Then hit “reblog”!